Introducing the role of self-compassion for Living Well with Fatigue & Pain, Supporting Mental & Emotional Wellbeing, Managing Stress & Burnout

 

Here I’m writing about the role of self-compassion & why I consider it be so valuable for supporting us in living with challenges of fatigue, pain, chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, feeling overwhelmed, mental health challenges, and life in general.
Working in occupational therapy mental health and fatigue & pain services, I’ve found it to be an ever present concept where I find myself weaving it into & through my sessions…..holding space, gently guiding, moving alongside, supporting people with slowly, gently building self-compassion into their lives…..

 

Often starting with bringing a gentle curiosity to the notion of self-compassion, most people I start working with generally reflect on how they tend to show little kindness to themselves, often acknowledging feeling lazy when they have to take time out to rest, or feeling selfish if they put themselves first in any way.
It’s so hard when pain, stress, fatigue, mental & emotional health challenges just aren’t visible symptoms……….many people often report not feeling validated or understood by others, and this can go hand in hand with living in a society that tends to give value to how busy and productive we are.
All this can often lead to living amidst routines and patterns that can build on unhelpful cycles just to get through the day…. quite understandably, this isn’t helpful for building on the foundations of self-compassion and I’ve often heard people remark they feel like they’re just existing day to day through the impact of their health challenges and not knowing how to make the changes to build on a fuller life for themselves.

 

Admittedly, I haven’t always acknowledged the full importance of self-compassion for me to live my life well….. I’d always being a ‘warrior’ woman, single parent, juggling life stressors & stressful, demanding job roles……and I figured I was ‘kind enough’ to myself over the years.
It was only when my family’s life took an unexpected turn that I had to really take on board everything I knew, everything I’d learnt & read about self-compassion and really apply it & finetune it to my own lived experience.
I had to start listening to the signs my body was giving me, put the brakes on ‘pushing through’, ease up on myself, set boundaries for myself and how I was living my life…..all through a lens of cultivating self-compassion so I could support my own emotional wellbeing, and in turn, support the needs of my teenage family in the challenges ahead that we faced…..

Understanding myself and learning how to ease up on my mind & body to support my participation in life, has really helped to strengthen my values & commitment for the work that I do & my true passion for championing self-compassion and the principles of real self-care (more on this to come!)

 

So, how can building on the foundations of self-compassion help?

By learning more about ourselves and how we engage in our daily lives we can start to bring some awareness to how we respond and react in our daily patterns of routines, habits, roles, responsibilities & general activity levels – whether that’s from a sense of under-doing or over-doing.

 

Bringing a curiosity to these daily patterns and interactions with other people and the world around us can give us a wealth of information, a whole load of data about ourselves, where we can essentially learn more about what makes us ‘tick’:
We can begin to bring a ‘gentle’ awareness to our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, our patterns of engaging, our patterns of reactivity to ourselves & towards others, the expectations we may put on ourselves or expectations from others.

 

We can begin to bring awareness to how our body, in turn, reacts to all of this going on: the impact of critical thoughts like we ‘should’ be able to do certain things, we ‘could’ be doing more if we tried harder; the impact of strong emotions like frustration or impatience around what we’re doing or maybe not doing; noticing the impact of behaviours like ‘pushing through’ to try & complete our never-ending ‘to do’ list.
Bringing a gentle awareness to how this shows up in our body, we can begin to notice the signs our ‘clever’ body is giving us that maybe we can go easier on ourselves a bit – signs like increased pain, tension or fatigue; feeling heavy & sluggish; increased feelings of stress & dysregulation in our body – before we maybe ‘crash’ or our mood starts to dip….

 

Putting all this together with a gentle curiosity, there can be some common themes that come up for people. This can particularly be around our ‘harsh inner critic’ - how we can speak to ourselves, which may be in the form of subtle, or not so subtle put-downs, but just not being that nice or supportive….
This can also be around a default mode of simply ‘ignoring’ our body to get things done, tending to be on automatic & in our busy ‘to do list’ heads – only stopping when we really have to & we can no longer ignore the potentially intense signs of pain, increased tension, exhaustion, brain fog & feelings of overwhelm in the body.

 

By moving towards exploring & bringing a kindly awareness to how we might start to ease up on ourself, even just a little, we can begin to cultivate shifts in self-kindness & self-care for ourselves, for our body, for calming our minds a little, beginning to bring a gentle spotlight of awareness on how we might begin to show up to our daily lives. We can begin to gently build on what helps, responding with a little kindness to what we need, what our bodies need, what helps to regulate our minds and body. I’ve noted a few things below that we can maybe begin to  ask ourselves, with a kindly curiosity:

-can I begin to re-frame how I speak to myself? can I soften my harsh inner dialogue? would I seriously speak to my friend like that?
Disrupting the cycle of self-criticism can soften the cycle of strong emotions like frustration through showing kindness to ourself, helping to disrupt the cycle of reactivity in the body such as holding tension & resistance, supporting systems of emotional regulation & soothing.

 

-can I begin to ‘check in’ with my body a little during the day? am I ‘pushing through’ & ‘ignoring’ my body?
Building in ‘comfort breaks’ doesn’t have to be for very long but it’s a lovely sentiment for supporting a pause, some ‘comfort’ for you – maybe a loo break, a drink, a mental break – or some ‘comfort’ for your body – a gentle stretch, a change of posture, gentle movement – supporting us to take a break before we/our bodies really need it before things like exhaustion & overwhelm might set in (a bit like filling our car up with fuel before it runs out on the motorway, charging our phones up so it doesn’t run out mid-call……)

 

-how I can take a little more care of myself & my body? can I start to prioritise what I can feasibly do each day?
Balancing out our daily activity & daily demands isn’t always straightforward, let’s invite some kindness & support to ourselves for any shifts we start to make in our daily rhythms towards pacing, planning, prioritising….let’s invite awareness to how our body feels & invite a gentle awareness of how we may respond with a little care….helping to ease resistance & tension, balance out our energy through the day.

 

-what help might I need to do this? what would it be like to begin to set some boundaries with myself to support my own self-care?
Setting boundaries with ourself is a beautifully empowering means of self-care, and remains a challenge when we are used to putting others first & don’t feel we have a choice at times in our life……maybe we can we support a gentle shift in awareness towards noticing when our ‘powerful yet amazing’ minds are taking over & leading us into over-doing mode……..towards noticing the signs our ‘clever’ bodies are giving us that they are struggling, signs for us to maybe ease up……maybe we can move towards a gentle response of care to our body in our next moments?

 

How can building on self-compassion help me in my recovery journey?

Bringing a gentle intention of starting to build on things like the small steps above into our day can begin the process of supporting and guiding us through personal recovery journeys that can support health needs over time.
Recovery paths look different to each of us, we may need to adapt & make changes along the way, we may need to start over again and again, we may need to take a different path……. none of this is easy but when we’ve started to make shifts learning to do this, beginning to weave self-compassion into our lives, it can serve to support us during times of challenge and disruption, and the practices we may have built on can be a place to return to a little sooner…..

Building on self-compassion is a way of life, a way for us to engage with the world, building on subtle shifts and awareness of how we move through the world – it can become a really helpful & supportive way of living where we can become more in touch with ourselves and our needs. It can support a really helpful shift in building on our confidence for truly making ourselves more of a priority in our own lives. And who knows where this may lead us on our future path through life…..

 

I hope you’ve found this article interesting and helpful. If you’re interested in exploring this further, I offer an initial 30mins (free) consultation for you to find out more about what my individual sessions might look like to support you with building on this.

Please feel free to make contact with me via email  natalie@mindfulotpractice.com

The theme of self-compassion is weaved into my interventions to support the following health needs:
-management of fatigue & pain conditions
-managing mental health & emotional wellbeing
-easing the interplay of chronic stress, burnout & overwhelm on wellbeing & life engagement.

My personalised sessions include a range of the following interventions, creatively integrating Occupational Therapy & Mindfulness-Based Approaches:
-building on self-management practices & skills
-supporting lifestyle management & behaviour/habit changes
-mindful therapy techniques & supporting mindfulness in daily life
-mental health coping strategies, building on understanding more about ourselves & what helps
-personalised emotional regulation techniques & practices to support calmer rhythms for our mind and body
-supporting mind-body connection for enhanced wellbeing

 

Warmest Wishes

 

Natalie